I want to have your abortion
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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