Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
