I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize