He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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