you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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