Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
