The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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