I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is Oprah even human
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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