mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
