Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
