maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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