Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
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