weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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