Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
