I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!