i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.