You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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