Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I will be naked everywhere
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
