The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
