Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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