i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
