Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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(713): View more from Texas

I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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(519): View more from Ontario

Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

(416): View more from Toronto

Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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(647): View more from Ontario

so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.

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