They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My ATM looks so different sober.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
