is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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