Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
