once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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