worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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