making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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