I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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