you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
