i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Randomize
