There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
