shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize