Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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