I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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