1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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