1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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