My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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