32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
