Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
