Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
