where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
