I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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