so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
