If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize