you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
