yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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