Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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