you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This is my gift to your gina
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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