i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
