So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
