i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
