There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Someone came in the potted fern
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
