Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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