sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
