okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
