Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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