You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
