shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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