so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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