Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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