The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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