Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
