hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
