I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
